She was mortal and her humanity was fragile. Her chipped nail polish rested on once shaking, shivering and dainty hands that held on to memories muddled with older ones.
Her bed angled itself into the corner of a room, enabling the sun to shine on her weary and tired face. Cardboard glossy prints decorated her room reminding her of life lived and loved ones who rest in a place now familiar to her.
Confused and disjointed words fell from her mouth while prayers from ours fell on her ears.
A mother, a wife, and a daughter, Barbara. Her name meant ‘foreign woman’, somehow poetic in the relationship of stepmother to my father. Although sometimes absent, they were united by my grandfather. Family.
The TV echoed through the walls, occupying thinking space and time to reflect. The carpeted floor directed us to the ladies in blue shirts, who stood there repeating ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’, all final words which led us to the exit, the hand sanitiser and the door.
Chalk and cheese?
I guess you could call it that. He was smarter than me, I was louder. He was the thinker and the analyst where I was the impulsive actress.
Carelessly and selfishly I would stroll into his bedroom and ask if we could get the Lego and play. Patiently he humoured me and fantasised about a plastic square town which we built together.
He went to college and I went to school, both of us too dignified and admittedly insecure to acknowledge the multicoloured plastic days would whisk us away and capture our imagination.
But how I missed it.
How I missed developing and creating something which my brother and I would admire.
A common interest?
I guess you could say that.
He was dynamic and I was sporadic. He would analyse the moment and I would capture it there and then.
Photography healed the days where my brother and I grew apart. Instead of creating and developing a plastic world, we now capture a very real ever changing world through our digital SLR cameras.
I never solely or wholly believed that one day we would have that delicate bond back but, best friends?
I guess you could call it that.